bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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