idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
