how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
