Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
