google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
