He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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