Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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