shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
