its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
