we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My vagina is very pro this idea
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
