My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
