So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They have beer where we have blood.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
