well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
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No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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