Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
