3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
