So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
only you would photoshop your dick
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
