Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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