i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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