i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.