my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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