I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
