I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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