so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
