how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
