we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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