Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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