I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
