rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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