mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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