I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
