Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I smell like Dick and happiness
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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