So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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