Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
