i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You were trust falling into bushes