Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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  (905): I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it http://tfl.nu/0syl
  Replies (18) Good night (873) Bad night (2621)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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  (636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date. http://tfl.nu/58hu
  Replies (19) Good night (1888) Bad night (1418)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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  (443): Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you. http://tfl.nu/z07c
  Replies (39) Good night (634) Bad night (4388)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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  (606): There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992. http://tfl.nu/3pqb
  Replies (17) Good night (792) Bad night (3383)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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  (620): I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about http://tfl.nu/33to
  Replies (23) Good night (758) Bad night (4466)
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  (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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  (631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50
  Replies (27) Good night (3338) Bad night (4093)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.

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  (325): Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood. http://tfl.nu/hew5
  Replies (11) Good night (4247) Bad night (787)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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  (609): girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her. http://tfl.nu/7glm
  Replies (15) Good night (4692) Bad night (1513)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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  (815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw
  Replies (22) Good night (8030) Bad night (1621)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

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  (616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. (1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world! http://tfl.nu/0fvx
  Replies (10) Good night (5059) Bad night (851)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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  (719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1
  Replies (6) Good night (1778) Bad night (517)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!

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  (404): PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!! http://tfl.nu/r6da
  Replies (12) Good night (1866) Bad night (547)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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  (615): Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/mm6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (312)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

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  (815): i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/c912
  Replies (5) Good night (441) Bad night (279)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.

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  (702): The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me. http://tfl.nu/ddqk
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (810)

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