well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up