Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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  (215): i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are. http://tfl.nu/vh2p
  Replies (85) Good night (1250) Bad night (6582)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  why is allison so mad at me??

  (469): View more from Texas

  me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  crap..

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  (318): why is allison so mad at me?? (469): me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!". (318): crap.. http://tfl.nu/7nes
  Replies (28) Good night (1604) Bad night (6068)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (30) Good night (12837) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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  (330): fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever http://tfl.nu/itin
  Replies (11) Good night (5166) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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  (617): Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here. http://tfl.nu/6cd7
  Replies (4) Good night (3037) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.

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  (405): I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign. http://tfl.nu/rxal
  Replies (6) Good night (4132) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.

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  (303): Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us. http://tfl.nu/6nta
  Replies (12) Good night (822) Bad night (1853)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
  Replies (3) Good night (1826) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.

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  (906): Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/y37n
  Replies (29) Good night (2090) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

  (831): View more from California

  He's CUTE. and foreign

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  (415): Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you (831): He's CUTE. and foreign http://tfl.nu/untm
  Replies (2) Good night (1198) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.

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  (816): I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident. http://tfl.nu/95be
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"

  (516): View more from New York

  Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton

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  (267): There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians" (516): Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton http://tfl.nu/e4k4
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection

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  (573): Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection http://tfl.nu/kohz
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...

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  (514): Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in... http://tfl.nu/80hu
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing

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  (806): You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing http://tfl.nu/9sbr
  Replies (1) Good night (215) Bad night (450)

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