Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird