Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town

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(936): View more from Texas

To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.

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(229): View more from Georgia

Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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(618): View more from Illinois

Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird

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