is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I need moral support for this bender
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
