And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
