I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
