sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
