it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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