So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
