Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
