Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hippo gnu deer
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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