I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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