Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
