Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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