I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
