The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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