so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
