I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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