i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
