I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
