I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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