Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
