My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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