next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
