talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
