you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
did you just send me my own nude
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
