What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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