All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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