The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
