I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
