i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
