i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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