used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need a burrito and a hug.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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