is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
