Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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