4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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